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  “Good afternoon. My name is Christopher Rawlins. My roommate is quite ill, and I’d like to get an appointment with one of the doctors as soon as possible. I’m afraid she’s becoming dehydrated.”

  “All right,” the voice offered helpfully. “Let me just pull up the schedule.” A pause; “Has she been seen here before?”

  “I’m really not sure. I don’t think she has a regular physician – she’s not lived in the area too long. Her name is Karin Jenkins.”

  “Hmmm, I don’t see her name in our database. Could you have her here tomorrow morning at eleven thirty?”

  “Yes, that’d be great. I certainly appreciate your help on short notice.”

  “You’re welcome,” gushed the voice. “That appointment will be with Doctor Simmons. Please come in at least fifteen minutes early to complete the paperwork.”

  A satisfied smile stole across his handsome face, a tiny gleam twinkling in his bright blue eye.

  After he’d satisfied himself that she was sleeping soundly, he drove her car to the grocery in Toutle. He searched the shelves and paid for saltines, club soda, Melba toast, lemon drops, and herbal tea. That evening he was pleased when Karin told him she didn’t have a regular doctor. She’d cried, “I’ve always been so healthy,” as she laid her head in his lap. He stroked her hair as she nibbled the Melba toast he fed her.

  They arrived at the doctor’s office a half-hour early the next morning. As they entered through a glass vestibule, Karin glanced around and he pointed out the ladies’ room to her. When he was sure she was comfortably seated within dashing distance of it he went to check in with the receptionist.

  A plain-faced woman glanced at him indifferently and shoved a clipboard his direction. As he smiled at her and said “Good morning,” she did a double take and stared openly at him over the top of her glasses. “May I help you?” Her glasses rode high on her cheeks as she smiled back.

  “Please. My name is Christopher Rawlins and I’ve brought my friend Karin Jenkins in for an appointment – eleven thirty, I believe?”

  Reluctantly the receptionist turned her eyes to her computer. “Yes. She shouldn’t have to wait long.” She handed him two forms and a pen to complete the clipboard. “Please have her fill these out – of course, you may help her if she’s not feeling well.” She grinned broadly, the top of her eyeglass frames well above her eyebrows as she revealed every tooth in her mouth.

  “Certainly,” he smiled back. He turned around, alarmed to see she was gone. As he headed toward her chair, she came from the restroom, face flushed and sweaty. “Poor baby,” he soothed. “Here, sit and I’ll fill these out for you if you’ll tell me what to say.”

  He checked off various responses to the printed questions as she sucked on the lemon drops he’d insisted on bringing. She scrawled her signature at the bottom of the pages, then jumped up and dashed back to the restroom. He returned the clipboard to the receptionist and smiled graciously. “Just a few more minutes?”

  Karin returned and he held her hand in support. A nurse poked her head into the waiting area and announced, “Karin Jenkins?”

  “Come back soon,” he said. She rolled her eyes at him and got up.

  The nurse escorted her patient to the inner sanctum. She first required Karin to sit in a chair beside a desk, where she questioned her about her medical history, her family background, her recent health. She then measured her weight, height, and blood pressure, jotting notes on the desktop computer. A digital thermometer she’d stuck in Karin’s ear registered almost immediately. Finally she led Karin to an examination room where she instructed her to take off all of her clothes and dress in a hospital-style gown. Karin complied, but not before she’d asked the nurse for something she could throw up in – just in case.

  She perched on the end of the exam table, the stiff vinyl padding cold beneath its sanitary paper cover. As she waited she looked over the various documents, posters, and medical diagrams covering the walls. She dissolved two more lemon drops before the doctor finally knocked and came in. “Ms. Jenkins? I’m Doctor Simmons,” he said, shaking her hand. “I see you’re not feeling well – complaining of constant nausea and vomiting?” He gently closed the door behind him and then sat at a small desk where a keyboard and monitor sat. He signed in to the computer and pulled up her records, making a couple of notes.

  “I’d say that was an understatement, Doctor. I can’t remember when I’ve EVER been this sick.”

  “Let’s see what we can do about that. Let’s see . . . temperature and blood pressure were fine, um – tell me, are you taking any medications?”

  “No. I almost never take anything, just sometimes stuff for headaches. The only thing I’ve been able to keep down yesterday and today is some soup my roommate made for me and a little soda and tea.” She placed another lemon drop in her mouth and sucked vigorously.

  Dr. Simmons typed in a few more notes and looked at her. “Stomach upset?”

  She nodded.

  “Any diarrhea as well?”

  “No – don’t think I could handle that too.”

  “Well, let’s have a look at you.” He stood by her and listened to her heart and lungs with his stethoscope, then helped her lie back on the table and pulled out its extension so she could stretch out. “How long has it been since your last physical?”

  She traced the pattern of the wallcovering with her eyes. “I’d say it’s been at least a couple of years – but I really don’t remember. Sometime before I moved to Washington.”

  He checked her throat, ears, eyes, and prodded the glands of her neck and underarms. He carefully examined her breasts, to which she replied were very tender; poked and prodded her belly, causing her to swallow repeatedly. As he finished he announced, “I’d like to do a little blood work and get a urine sample, if you wouldn’t mind.” He assisted her in sitting back up and pressed an intercom button. “Debbie, room two please.” He sat at the desk and made more notations into the computer.

  As the nurse entered he prepared to exit. “Karin, please get dressed after she takes the samples, and wait out front. Is someone with you?” She nodded. “Good. I’d like to get the results and then speak with you again before you go home.”

  “I’ll wait. Anything to help this. Do you think you can give me a shot or something to get me through it?”

  “We’ll do the best we can to help you feel better.”

  Chris was totally anxious while she was in the exam room. He’d browsed magazines without seeing pictures or words, sipped water several times from the fountain, visited the men’s room, and stepped outside for a breath of air. He’d just sat back down as Karin approached him. He watched her walk, following her every movement as she sat down beside him. “They want me to wait for a bit while they run some tests.” She withdrew another lemon drop from her pocket.

  He headed for the water fountain.

  Half an hour passed.

  Nurse Debbie poked her head out into the waiting area and announced Karin’s name. “Is it okay if he comes back with me this time?” She put her hand on Chris’s arm.

  His heart raced as Debbie smiled and said “Sure.” She escorted them into Dr. Simmon’s personal office. They sat in expensive leather chairs and glanced at the room’s tasteful furnishings. Soon the doctor came in. “Karin,” he said as he stood behind his desk, and you are?” He extended his hand.

  Chris stood up to shake it. “Chris Rawlins, her roommate. My sister comes to see you now and then, Jenny Rawlins?”

  “Good to meet you. I can’t place your sister offhand, but then the healthy ones don’t come in often enough to get to know them.” He sat in his desk chair and folded his hands. “Karin, is it okay to speak freely in front of Chris?”

  She leaned forward in her chair. “Sure.”

  “Well then – I think it’s safe to say that you won’t be getting any shots today to help with your condition. You’re pregnant.”

  Chris caught her before she slid to the floor.
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br />   Chapter Twenty

  “How am I going to manage this?”

  “There’s nothing to worry about . . . there are lots of options.”

  “Oh really? It’s completely unplanned, I can’t afford it, I’m not married – take your pick.” She’d cried all the way home from the doctor’s office, her face puffy and red. They were sitting out on the edge of the deck, dangling their feet in the water.

  The lake was serene and peaceful on a balmy June evening. A breeze meandered, the scent of a neighbor’s grilling drifting past. Smells weren’t currently bothering her; they’d picked up an acceptable nausea medication after they’d left the clinic. She hadn’t thrown up for a couple of hours. Grateful, Chris tilted his head back to inhale deeply of the cooking and the fresh air.

  “The baby is mine, isn’t it?” He was charming, and put his arm around her in his best bedside manner. “You’ve been with me constantly since Andy and Jenny left – and I don’t remember you talking about any other guys.”

  She sniffled. “Yeah, I know. You ARE the only one I’ve been with. And I love you in lots of ways, Chris. I’m just not ready to have a baby. It wasn’t part of my plan.” She wiped her nose with a tissue and focused her gaze on the far shore.

  you’re wrong

  He squeezed her shoulder again, gently. “The timing may not be perfect, but I’m crazy about you. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” He kissed her cheek. “We have great times together, don’t we?”

  “Sure – but I didn’t take things quite this seriously. Besides, you – more than me – definitely aren’t ready to get involved in another serious relationship. Don’t you think it’s too soon?”

  right and wrong

  He sighed deeply and hugged her again, then rested his arms on his knees, looking down into the shallows. “Well all I’m saying is that I’m here for you.” His voice cracked a bit. She looked at him as a tear trickled down his cheek.

  “I know, Chris. You’ve been very good to me. I just don’t know what I want to do.”

  They held hands and watched ripples lengthen across the water. The pit of his stomach lurched. The concept of her not wanting the baby was not a part of his plan, and he launched a program within his mind to assure his intended results. Not following through with the pregnancy was not an acceptable alternative.

  I will not lose this baby, my dear not a part of the plan never

  As he lay beside her that night, he dreamed.

  He passed silently through the dark. The crystal bed was once again in the middle of the room, shimmering and sparkling, its curtains swaying softly. He was naked, standing at the end of the four-poster bed with his hands on each of the end posts. Karin lay on her back; she was tied at the wrists and ankles with strips of the same gossamer fabric as the bedding. She was sleeping, her face angelic, skin creamy, hair shining and fanned out across the pillows. His dick grew extremely strong and hard; he grasped it and was pleased with the intensity as he stroked.

  The curtains at the head of the bed parted. He raised his eyes and saw Donna, dressed in a brilliant white flowing gown, holding a toddler on her hip in the universal fashion of mothers. She did not speak, smiling at the little boy and then looking at Chris. Her eyes were shining and impossibly bright. His penis withered and fell useless, his knees weak and shaky.

  Her gaze settled on Karin. As he watched, a mound began to expand underneath the fabric covering Karin’s belly. It quickly reached the size of a full term pregnancy. Donna reached and pulled the sheets away from Karin, and a baby was clearly visible through Karin’s translucent skin. Chris looked at Donna once more as words formed on her lips – a gap between her speaking and the sound he heard.

  this is not for you

  I have your son with me

  She looked at the beautiful blonde child she carried and kissed his cheek.

  this is not for you in this life

  Chris’s eyes were riveted to her face, and he closed his eyes as she finished speaking. When he opened his eyes again she was gone, the curtains drawn back together. Karin remained uncovered. He reached forward to touch her, tracing the outline of the baby, marveling at the translucence.

  Sensing movement behind him, he spun around as Donna thrust the hideous knife.

  He awoke in a cold sweat, jumping from the bed. He ran to the bathroom and vomited. As he reached to flush, a chill ran through him from his testicles upward, slamming into his head. He doubled over and dropped to the floor.

  When he felt able, he grasped the edge of the vanity and rose. He looked at himself in the mirror – the face calm and composed. He took a deep breath and stood straight.

  He smiled his little crooked half-grin.

  He thought of Karin, and blood coursed his veins with purpose and determination unmatched. He spent the next seven days building his own version of creation.

  Karin’s life took a radical turn. Although her prescribed medicine kept her vomiting mostly controlled, her newly produced hormones caused exuberant highs and depressive lows. Physically, her morning sickness extended itself to unpleasant afternoons and evenings. Her natural easy-going tendencies proved a disadvantage against the superior control Chris maintained. Finding her easy to manipulate, he turned her carefree personality against her. Karin’s thinking became quite unclear – mentally, he supported them both. He carefully monitored her changing thoughts and feelings, brushing some aside and readily absorbing others. She relied on him for everything, easily falling into his trap, as he catered to her every need and whim. He experienced chronic mental drain for the seven days, but he was proud as his sculpture took shape. He came to term their association ‘familial recycling’. Constantly he entered her thoughts, bolstering her sorrowful feelings with his direction, tempering any jubilant highs with gentle chastisement to bring her down. She was an easy target – he manipulated her with purpose and hellish determination. Her carefree, loving nature proved a fatal attraction.

  At the end of the seventh day, she was completely under his control, his obsession with his child complete.

  Although she was young and physically healthy, in the next few weeks the strain of the pregnancy and her unusual cargo caused Karin untold pain and suffering. Many times she cried for relief, just a short reprieve in the form of a pleasant hour. Often he held her in his arms or cradled her head in his lap, stroking her hair. He did not count himself a total barbarian, and he genuinely tried to ease some of her discomfort. He encouraged her to sleep as often as possible, helping her regroup from the draining effect of a racing metabolism. He thoughtfully provided her a convenient excuse to quit her job – in a bold fabrication he told the grocery owner he was teaching her to take over Jenny’s bookkeeping business. From now on she would be working from home.

  Jenny called him once a week, usually early Saturday mornings, to keep in touch. She and Andy were finding eastern Washington quite agreeable. She’d taken a position in a real estate office as a receptionist/office caretaker, and was enjoying the work very much. As the need arose, with Jenny’s permission he fielded her clients, saying he didn’t feel like taking on anything new, steering her accounts in more accessible directions. His excellent absorption of the area phonebooks proved handy in placing her former customers with new accountants. He was absolutely delighted Andy and his sister were settling in, as it fit neatly with his own plans, more perfectly than he could have imagined. He maintained the lie to his sister that Karin was continuing on with her job. He picked up the slack of Jenny’s absence and Karin’s lack of employment, paying all bills in truth and keeping the place going as usual. The autonomy and freedom afforded by his money was very much to his liking. Lies slipped from his tongue as easily as rain fell from the sky – and as the rain nourished the ground below, so his lies became so interwoven they created their own reality. His sister was so busy with her new life she never even thought twice about anything back home in Silver Lake.

  The only true thorn in his side was the cat. Ch
ris grew very irritated with Rebecca, who insisted on shadowing Karin and rarely leaving her side. If he tried to shoo her away, more often than not he ended up looking for bandages. When he would force her outside, if he did not let her back in she meowed and wailed and frayed his nerves completely.

  His newly treasured abilities of deceit, lies, and unholy manipulation apparently did not extend to animals.

  He became a domestic engineer, discovering his untested talent for directly running a household. Once or twice, he felt surprised by the fact he really enjoyed taking care of his ‘little mother’ and the house. Donna had always taken care of the homebound tasks, albeit under his supervision. He took pride in a freshly vacuumed carpet, pleasure in his well-tended garden and lawn, remorse in even a partial hamper of dirty laundry. He even managed to keep fresh food and water out for the cat, attempting to score points with an occasional gourmet can of something tasty. He nurtured and cared for Karin, the precious pearl in the oyster. But overriding any of these mental, financial, or physical concerns was his absolute obsession with his developing child.